The Mgician and His Assistant
by Colourful Glitter
Summary: Jane creates a brilliant plan to find the killer. It'll take a little bit of magic and, of course, all great magicians need an assistant. Just another late night one shot. Rated a very mild T for a little bit of language, just to be safe.


**Author's Note: Hey everyone! Just another late night one shot! Jane decides to do a little magic in order to catch a killer and he needs an assistant. I hope you enjoy it!  
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**Disclaimer: The Mentalist is not mine. No matter how badly I wish it was.**

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"Lisbon." Jane poked his head into Lisbon's office. It was late and she had sent the team home for a good night's rest before they continued to work on their current case the next day.

"What do you want, Jane?" Lisbon yawned as she shut down her computer.

"I had a brilliant idea about how we're going to catch the killer." Jane beamed.

Lisbon's ears perked up at that, but a wave of suspicion also rolled over her. "What's this 'brilliant' idea? Is it going to get me in trouble?"

"No higher up heat with this on, Lisbon. I promise."

"Yeah, right." Lisbon rolled her eyes disbelievingly. "So, what's the plan? Tell me already."

"I will. Tomorrow. Round up the team and meet me three hours before." Jane walked over and placed a flyer on her desk before turning and quickly walking out so she couldn't question him further.

Lisbon snatched up the flyer from her desk and looked at it, raising a brow.

-Mentalist-

"Okay." Lisbon said as she and the team slid into one of the casino audience booths. "What's your 'brilliant' plan?"

"Okay, so after scoping out the place last night-"

"I already don't like where this is going." Lisbon interrupted.

"Shush, Lisbon. You'll like it in the end when we catch the killer."

"I hope so." Lisbon moaned.

"Anyway. The killer is going to be here tonight and I know how they're going to try and get out with another victim while escaping detection. Van Pelt, you wait around out back with the SUV in case he finds some alternate way out there-it's not likely, but you never know. Cho, there's a hole in the wall for servers and staff to get around faster, you've got to find a way to blend in and cover that. And please, try to blend in. Rigsby, you're going to play security guard backstage because our guy is gonna try and get around back there as well."

"And what are you doing?" Van Pelt asked.

"Well, I'm tonight's entertainment." Jane grinned.

"Oh, no." Lisbon muttered.

"Don't be so pessimistic, Lisbon. He's going to be in the audience. This way I can scope him out."

"And I get the night off?" Lisbon raised a brow at him.

"No, don't worry, Lisbon. You have a very special part in my plan."

"I _really_ don't like this plan."

"You haven't even heard what your part is." Jane shook his head.

"God, help me." Lisbon muttered.

-Mentalist-

"What the hell is wrong with you, Jane!?" Lisbon shrieked.

Jane looked over at the costume again. "Nothing. Why are you so upset?"

"I'm not doing this."

"What do you mean? You have to."

"No, I don't."

"Do you have any other plans to catch the killer?"

Lisbon pursed her lips together.

"That's what I thought."

"I'm still not going to do it. Get Van Pelt or something."

"No. Why would I get Van Pelt?"

"She's younger and prettier. I'm forty. That's ancient in show business."

"Don't be ridiculous. You'll look fine on stage. Your looks are wasted buried behind paperwork."

"Stop it. You're not going to sweet talk me into going up on stage in _that_!"

"It's not even that bad. You're overreacting. It was the least revealing outfit of all of the ones I could find. Trust me. I could have gone with the one that came with bunny ears, but I didn't."

"Bunny ears? Are you serious?"

"And a little cotton tail, too."

"I'm still not going to do it. I don't even know how to be a magician's assistant!"

"Teresa. Look. You will be decently covered and you don't even have to do very much to be a magician's assistant. You just need to stand there, smile and look pretty."

Lisbon just frowned at him.

"Okay, now see? That is not what you need to do. You need to smile. I know you can. I've seen you do it."

"No. I'm going to swap places with Van Pelt."

"There's not time for that." Jane said. "We have twenty minutes until show time and it'll take that long just to get you ready. We don't have time to be switching places."

"You'll have to be quick, then."

"Come on! Don't be difficult!"

"You're the one that's being difficult."

"You're the only one the costume will fit. I already got it in your size."

"Damn it, Jane!"

"Come on! We don't have all night. Get changed and lets catch this killer!"

Lisbon glared at him, grabbing the costume angrily and heading into the change room.

-Mentalist-

They hurriedly got ready and made it with a few minutes to spare. Jane had done Lisbon's makeup and fixed his cape as they waited backstage.

"A cape?" Lisbon raised a brow. "Really?"

"Everyone loves a magician with a cape."

Lisbon rolled her eyes.

"Remember what I told you." Jane whispered to her. "Just smile and look pretty. Your job is to be a distraction."

That didn't make Lisbon feel any better about going on stage in this…he had called it a dress, but the poofy bottom was much too short for her liking and she didn't even want to think about the heels anymore. The 'dress' was very sparkly with a corset laced top and black poofy tool bottom. It was pink. Of all the colours Jane could have chosen. Pink. He'd put a feathery clip in her hair and put her in some really thin heels. What had she done wrong in life to end up here? She was a cop, damn it!

The announcer began their introduction, cuing her and Jane onto the stage.

Lisbon took a deep breath and forced herself to walk out on stage with a smile so fake that it hurt.

Jane walked out confidently, to the front of the stage to greet the audience and wave his cape around as Lisbon just tried to stay out of the way and not look too awkward, though she felt it. As the show went on, Lisbon felt like time wasn't moving fast enough. Jane would call people up to the stage for some tricks, usually men to see if they were the killer, and Lisbon would hold objects as she was instructed as she willed herself to not just walk off the stage.

"Don't go anywhere folks, I will continue to amaze you after this short break." Jane said, bowing as the audience clapped and the curtains fell.

When the curtains were officially closed, Lisbon frowned and crossed her arms. "You better have found something useful from that."

Jane turned to look at her. "I think I know who the killer is." He said confidently.

"You _think_?"

"I'm about 90% sure. The guy sitting by himself off to the right. He looked really nervous when I went to choose someone for the hypnotism trick. He was very relieved when I chose the guy in the booth next to him."

"That's it?"

"He looks guilty, but I'm sure you don't consider that evidence."

"None of what you've told me so far is evidence." Lisbon told him.

"Not to fear. I will get that for you after the break, which is almost over now."

Lisbon groaned.

"If it makes you feel any better, your legs look lovely."

Lisbon frowned at him as her cheeks warmed and she huffed, looking away. The curtains rose and Lisbon forced the smile back on her face.

"Hello again." Jane greeted the audience. "My lovely assistant, Teresa, and I were talking just now and we thought that we would change things up for the second half. A magical test, if you will. I will try to help awaken some psychic powers in one of you. Are there any volunteers to try and awaken some magic within themselves?" Quite a few hands went up and Jane picked the most impressionable looking person that he could find. "And what is your name?" Jane asked the man when he was up on stage.

"Todd."

"Everyone give Todd a around of applause." The audience complied. "Okay. Now we need a volunteer to have their mind read. Any volunteers?" No one raised their hand. "How about you, sir?" Jane pointed to the man sitting alone in the booth to the right.

The man looked nervous and shook his head.

"Come on." Jane encouraged. "We don't bite. It's all in good fun."

The man hesitated, but must have concluded that there was no way his mind was going to be read and agreed.

"And your name?" Jane asked.

"Jacob."

"A round of applause for our brave volunteer, Jacob. Teresa? Why don't we give Jacob somewhere to sit?"

Lisbon headed for the curtains, one of the backstage helpers passing her a basic chair that she placed in the middle of the stage.

The suspect sat on it as Jane stood off to the side with Todd. Once the suspect was seated for a moment, Jane ushered Todd to stand behind him.

"Okay, Jacob. Here's what I want you to do. I want you to think of an event in your life. A big event. Something that you feel emotionally attached to. It can be a happy memory or a sad one, doesn't matter. Just close your eyes and think of it. Take deep breaths and just concentrate on it. It could be a graduation, the death of a pet, going to see one of your favourite teams play for the first time. Concentrate. You have an event?"

Jacob nodded.

"Okay, Todd. What I want you to do is close your eyes and focus. You can put your hand on Jacob's shoulder if you like, but focus."

Todd took a deep breath and closed his eyes, focusing.

"Concentrate on making a connection. Let your mind go blank, opening up to receive information from Jacob. Just wait for an image to form. Maybe the image will form slowly and it'll be blurry, or the image will form quickly. It all depends on you. Everyone is- do you see something?" Jane asked, seeing Todd's brow furrow.

"Yeah…"

"What do you see, Todd?"

"A woman?"

"What about this woman?" Jane prodded.

"She's…she's got light brown hair. It's dark. An alley?"

Lisbon looked at Jane shocked and Jane had to hide his smile at the discomfort Jacob was in.

"There's a sign for a back entrance. One of those light up ones. It's pink."

Cho stepped out from his hiding spot in the employee trap door, making his way to the stage slowly.

"Wait a minute." Todd said. "She looks like the woman that was on the news. The dead one."

The audience was starting to become uncomfortable as well, Cho still making his way to the stage. Jacob was shaking slightly now.

Todd opened his eyes. "Oh, my god! He killed her!"

Jacob froze for a moment before he got up and tried to dash offstage, but Lisbon managed to knock him over and Cho hurried over to cuff him.

Thank you, Todd." Jane tapped the man's shoulder lightly. "You've been a great help. You can take a seat again now."

Todd looked at Jane, blinking, a little confused. "Yeah, sure…"

Cho hauled Jacob to his feet and escorted him off stage as the audience continued to watch in shock.

"Nice outfit." Cho commented to Lisbon in his normal deadpan, even though he was teasing. "I like the shoes."

"Just get him to the van." Lisbon snapped.

Cho smirked slightly and did as he was told.

-Mentalist-

"So, a successful night, I would think." Jane walked into Lisbon's office as she was packing up her stuff. It was late and the rest of the team had already gone home.

Lisbon just glared at him.

"Oh, come on, Lisbon. You can't still be mad at me. We caught the killer and everything went well. No one is suing and no one else got hurt."

Lisbon continued to glare at him.

Jane huffed, tilting his head, holding her gaze. "Are you really still mad about the whole assistant outfit thing?"

Lisbon raised a brow.

"Okay, fine!" Jane crossed his arms. "I'm sorry I forced you to wear the outfit and be my assistant."

Nothing.

"Will you stop being mad, already? I'll buy you lunch for a week. Huh? Will that make up for it?"

Still nothing.

"What else do you want?"

"You really are an ass." Lisbon shook her head. "I'm _never_ going to be able to live that down, do you realize that? That will haunt me forever. You know that."

"No, it won't. You're over exaggerating. By next week, everyone else will have forgotten about it."

Lisbon placed her files on her desk and walk over to stand in front of Jane, arms crossed. "What's that supposed to mean? _Everyone else_?"

"It means exactly that."

"I can't believe you. You're going to hold this over my head, aren't you? You ass."

"That's not it at all." Jane shook his head, offended.

"Give me one other legitimate reason that you would bother to remember that, then."

"You looked really good in that dress." Jane blurted.

Lisbon rolled her eyes. "I already went along with your plan. You don't need to try and sweet talk me anymore."

"I'm not sweet talking you. I'm serious." Jane told her. It was personal. He was legitimately offended that she would think that he'd try to use that against her.

"You never are." Lisbon turned away, hating the way her cheeks pinked.

Jane caught her hand, stopping her retreat. "I _am_." He said more gently.

Lisbon looked back at him, cheeks darkening more when her gaze met his and she looked away. "Okay. Fine."

"And thank you." Jane smiled gently.

Lisbon's brow wrinkled when she looked at him. "For what?"

"Being such a good assistant."

"You're already holding it over me."

"No, no! Not at all! It was a compliment!"

"How was that a compliment?"

"Did I ever tell you why magician's have beautiful female assistants?"

"To have something to look at on the job?"

"Close." Jane nodded. "But not quite. It's because beautiful women are reliable distracters of attention. If there is one thing that will distract anyone, it is a beautiful woman."

"So, that was all you trying to tell me in a _very embarrassing _way, that you think I'm pretty?"

"That's one way to look at it." Jane smiled.

"What the hell, Jane? You can't just buy a woman flowers to say that?"

Jane's smile spread into a grin. "I guess, there's an idea for next time." He quickly stepped forward, placing an affectionate kiss to Lisbon's cheek before leaving her office.

Lisbon just stood there, shocked. She hadn't had time to protest anything and she wasn't even sure if it had really happened or not. And what the hell did Jane mean; _next time_?

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**Author's Note: So, that's it for this one shot. I hoped you all liked it! It's my birthday today! Leave a review and let me know what you think? It'd be a great birthday present! Thanks for reading!  
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